If your boyfriend/girlfriend ever says to you, ‘Well, I mean, I would be sad if you died,’ then your relationship is most certainly over
Definitely one of the funniest photos I’ve seen in a while. She clearly married for looks, poor sap, Harvey is absolutely gorgeous, she’s alright, I guess
Driving with a Trump supporter in a brand new Chevrolet Suburban while listening to Jimmy Buffett very loudly is a liberal’s worst nightmare
television commercials are not art television commercials need to die out now television commercials are irrelevant and it is so obvious television commercials are so desperate please go extinct no one will miss you buh bye car companies phone carriers new pharmaceuticals with unending side effects insurance god fuck off insurance fuck off hard go the fuck away all of them have stupid slogans that mean nothing literally are the most vague contradicting broad dull bullshit see ya dipshits go read a book
watching television on a television is for old people
Garbage disposals in kitchen sinks only enable us to be wasteful and thus create more food waste in this country because we know we can simply pile it in a metal hole and flip the switch and listen to it whir and slice our shortcomings away clean yo plate kids!